Saturday, May 2, 2009

"lazarus the murdering"

-A creative inquiry into schizoid disorders-

the absolute value of my meaning revolves around all which i do not mean. corpus christi is imprisoned by the horizon. for the sake of dawn. at night's annihilation. i collapse into lines of sight. converging on a horizon which stretches like the lines on a heart monitor. jagged like a lie detector. in beats like the sight of sound. the sun itself is a prisoner of the horizon. time stopped a long while ago. i am an eternity. i evaporate into a generality. involuntarily anyone.

the schizoid is not at peace with his external reality. and so he leaves it in a state of perpetual dereliction. he picks of it what he chooses from a salad bar of pre-interpreted facts. the schizoid has entered a state of infinite sympathy with the external reality. he can feel the waves emitted by the power lines speaking into his brain. abstract gestures such as arranging silverware in special patterns produces meta-empirical effects along an analogical echo of intent.

often, since the fear itself is imagined, the arrangement of the silverware may have a temporarily cathartic effect. but the tendency of the schizoid is such that tension escalates tension, to the extent that the coping mechanism (arranging the silverware to 'block' the intruding 'waves') becomes a trigger to the anxiety, and the process cycles.

what the schizoid knows of love only the catatonics have achieved, for the goal of the schizoid is a complete break with reality. when the sympathetic connection with the external world has folded completely inward, the gestural balancing act that the schizoid performs has become internalized. we might say, in other words, that the schizoid has achieved a stasis in the cycle of fear and comfort, and is entirely capable of internally managing that fear. with the evaporation of the fear, we can likewise say, that schizoid's motives for interacting with reality on any level have entirely evaporated.

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